Come what may and love it

I had somewhat of a tough week last week. On the LDS General Conference page on Facebook it asked on Tuesday, 


To converts: What first introduced you to the gospel?
This is the comment I left:
"My friends in high school were all LDS and they shared the gospel with me by inviting me to their Mutuals and girls camp. They gave me the scriptures and bore their testimonies to me. They taught me how to pray and how to seek the truth. I read the scriptures and started praying. If we ask with a humble heart- The Spirit will bear witness the book of Mormon is the word of God and the gospel is true. I'm grateful for such great friends. I was baptized almost 11 years ago. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. The greatest joys in my life come from living the gospel."


Heavenly Father has always known me. I know He knew how badly I wanted to be apart of a loving family that did indeed love and worship Him. 


I've been thinking about how blessed my life was when I joined the church. It wasn't always easy but it was worth it. I'm grateful I had a testimony that I would be blessed with a loving husband and children if I continued to live the gospel and work hard. It was about 11 years ago that I had graduated high school. I had told my parents all year that I wanted to join the LDS church. My mother even went as far as to threaten to change my high school so I wouldn't be "brainwashed" anymore. She would always yell that my friend's mothers were brainwashing me. I am grateful I had the strength to believe in a better life. I knew happiness existed. My friends and their families were living proof. I remember I taped LDS General Conference once and I watched it by myself. I was yearning for goodness in my life. I can not explain how much love I felt just hearing the beautiful and kind words from the General Authorities of the church. I knew I was a Child of God and I knew their words were true. I can not remember how far and how fast everything escalated with my mother. She yelled at me for putting a picture of Christ in my room. My mother would only get very angry and yell at me about what she thought about Mormons. My parents would say false things were true. They were and still are ignorant about the church. Anyways, it all came down to the ultimatum that I should leave if I was going to join the church because it was either the church or them. My friend Amy came and got me one afternoon when she was babysitting. I remember she took me over to the family's house she was babysitting for and her family and ward members befriended me and supported my decision to join the church. My parents were never involved in my life. It's the simplest way to always explain that I was just there in their home growing up. They never taught me anything about life really. They never talked to me, except yelling at me and telling me what not to do like joining the church. I was always a good kid with good grades. I never got into trouble and never even wanted to. My friend's mom always told me that I just needed to get wet. She was right, because I was already living the standards of the church. People in high school and even friends when I first met them already thought I was LDS. They would ask me when I had seminary and would be really surprised to find out I wasn't LDS when I told them I wasn't. Anyways, it is such a testimony in and of itself that I made all the right decisions for me. Ever since I made the decision to join the church 11 years ago, I have been blessed. I always tried to reach out to my parents but they wouldn't have it. Everything always had to be on their terms and it was ALWAYS their way or the highway. I was telling Curt about how they had kicked me out again on Christmas Day in 2001 when I went to visit them. They got ticked off and my father yelled that I did not honor my father or my mother. I remember I fired back that he did not teach that in his home and that I was honoring them because I was living the life I wanted to by believing in God and living the gospel. They had gotten mad because I had gone over and visited my friends the Harrisons. They were so good to me and let me live with them for a year. I think my parents were mad and couldn't believe people could actually be so loving and kind. I worked at Walmart for 2 1/2 years as a cashier because I had always been self sufficient since I was 17. I had great roommates that also supported me and sustained me in Arizona. So many good people have influenced and blessed my life. I have always been surrounded by such good people ever since I joined the church. It is a testimony of God's love for me. They are blessings from choosing to follow the gospel of Jesus Christ. I felt prompted to go to BYU Idaho. I prayed about it and had a burning in bosom. It was so right. I did not have to question it. I went solely with my faith. My parents did not care I was going. They were always waiting and hoping for my faith to fail me or for me to renounce my beliefs, etc. I drove from Mesa to Utah and stayed with some friends before I headed up to Idaho. It was a hard year for me in Rexburg. I just kept doing what was right. I felt prompted one day to go get a job in Idaho Falls and I got a job at the Outback as a server. I made good money there and again I was in good company with good friends. I was also prompted to go to the financial aid office there one day where I was able to share my burdens with a very helpful financial aid counselor. She helped get me some great grants while I was there so it lightened my load. About after a year I was there I was burnt out and about at the end of my rope. I remember there was a devotional that Richard G. Scott gave. I went in my Sunday church clothes. I was always eager to hear counsel from the Lord's appointed apostles. I would read talks online from general authorities of the church and heed their counsel that brought me peace. I felt great peace and courage from their counsel to keep pressing forward with faith. I remember that particular devotional Elder Scott had counseled the students to look to their good parents for counsel. It was painful to hear at that time. I felt a bit let down. I felt a little discouraged. It was hard not having goodly parents with good counsel. I felt many blessings prepare me and I just knew all my hard work in my faith would bless me with a husband and children I had always desired. Not a moment too soon did I meet Curt. Everything was different with him. He showed great respect for me since the first day I met him. I met him on a Tuesday and had my wisdom teeth out that Thursday. He took me on our first real date that Saturday with a bunch of friends for a campfire up in the mountains. Curt had stopped at Walmart to buy me some yogurt because he knew I could not eat hot dogs and smores along with everyone else. He was always very thoughtful and kind to me from day one. I thanked him a lot and he got a little annoyed that I said "Thank you" too much. :) It always felt right just being together and when he would drop me off at night I knew we were better together than apart. I knew that Curt was the guy I had been praying for and living righteously for. I had prayed for opportunities and it was easy for me to know and recognize what I had been so prayerful for when those blessings were finally attained. This is funny but our song is Not a Moment Too Soon and it's lyrics were exactly how I felt at that time in my life and that's why it's our song. 
"I was standing at the end of my rainbow
With nowhere to go and no pot of gold in sight
All my wishes were just way too much to hope for
But when I saw you I knew I'd seen the light"


Okay so I had gotten upset at Curt this week and this is from an email he sent me: 


"You're mad at me for not trying to build a relationship with your parents in 7 years who don't want anything to do with us."


It's true. It is frustrating to have parents that basically don't want anything to do with you and your family no matter how much you try to reach out to them. Curt was reminding me that my parents aren't normal, etc. When I was pregnant with Cache, my brother told me they didn't agree with how I was bringing Cache into the world because we are Mormon. My brother stated and confirmed again at that time that they won't have anything to do with me because of "the religion". I can not imagine their pride or any other emotion they feel. It is saddening, but I just keep doing what I know is right for me and my family. I was telling Curt it is hard to reach out to them over and over and never get a response back. The realization hits me every now and then and it is a little painful, but my life is full of so much love I only wish they could know it. I continually reach out to them, not in hopes for them to ever want to have anything to do with us, but because it is the right thing to do. I know Christ wants me to love them and Heavenly Father will always give me the strength to do the things I need to do that are right. . . like reach out to them in love. 


"Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others."


"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."


-Elder Wirthlin, Come What May, and Love It